Mom Guilt

-->

Mom guilt. I don’t know one mom who is immune to it.

It is not healthy and does not help any situation. It steals our thoughts and emotions. Don’t get me wrong, we can use it to help think of ways to make future days better or as a reminder to plan well, it is just not worth our time to let it run our emotions and cause us to feel like a failure. We are doing our best, and are trusting the Lord to help us each day. That is what is important.

I was contemplating this issue today as my mind ran 200 miles an hour. In a matter of minutes….or rather seconds… I started feeling like a champion today only for that to transfer into feeling discouraged. I had to literally stop my self and give myself a pep talk…in my head of course, I am not that crazy. Well, at least there are no adult witnesses to me speaking to myself! Ha! 

We were finishing lunch at, ahem, 11:10am…when I thought to my self  “wow, kids are getting cleaned up… going down for naptime by 11:30….they will be able to wake up on their own (unlike other days when I have to wake them up at 2:30 to go pick up Annaka from the bus stop) …I did something right today!” 

which was then without any hesitation followed by

“oh no, I did not feed them enough for breakfast and did not get them to sit in one place for a snack so they are hungry too early….If I would have done my mom job better they would not be begging for lunch at 10:30am…they did not play enough…I only got 2 of the 6 books I pulled out read to the kids before they ran and were not listening… I must not have done enough to entertain them…I have failed today”.

The truth of the matter is that my kids did eat breakfast, even though they threw half of it on the floor. They have some food in their bellies, and if they were really still hungry they would eat it….even if off the floor (it has been done). They did have two snacks, even if they were M&Ms and oranges….and even if it was a big battle to get them to sit at the table to eat it so the baby would not grab it and choke. I got around the fact that my son threw a fit when I tried to make him wear clothes by offering for him to wear his monsters inc halloween costume he has lived in the past week. It was warm and worked temporarially.

They are now in bed falling asleep (hopefully). It is almost 12:30 rather than the 11:30am goal after we finished lunch. Costumes are off, pj shirts on, pants thrown on the floor because they wont wear them right now. When not knowing how to interpret my morning I remembered a story a friend told Clint and I last summer. They told us about some friends from Europe where the husband would encourage the wife each evening when she was discouraged about her day. He would remind her that the kids were fed, diapers changed, most importantly had survived the day! :)

I am on a journey to change my perception. I want to see my kids as God sees them. I want to raise my voice less. I want to think about what is meaningful to them as they grown and learn.  I want to be more prepared. Most of all I want to incorporate Christ into my everyday interactions with my kids rather than second guessing everything that happened.