Thoughts...

Whew, I dont really know where to begin. I am very excited for little Annaka to arrive and have had a few important realizations this past week.

1. We were sitting at our breastfeeding class and something hit me. Holding that practice doll that is supposed to be the weight of a 'typical' newborn....but is only typical if a newborn baby's head weighs 6.5 lbs and the rest of the body weighs .5 ounces and is about the size of a three month old. Holding that little thing so close and looking down at the eyes (painted on) made me realize that we are really going to have a little girl to hold and bring home. I will be looking into her eyes like that often and will be able to touch her little fingers and toes.

I guess so much preparation for having a baby really makes you focus on the here and now and not really what is to come. I pray the Lord gives Clint and I the wisdom we need as we need it! I am sure glad babies are born so small and sleepy so we can get used to them. If they came out 8 months old and needed entertaining all the time I dont know what I would do!

2. I am nixing the food list. I have had this list of food for Clint to be sure to have when the baby is born. I guess that was still a bit of self pity for not being able to eat much of what I really want these past few months. I dont want to be so focused on getting apple juice and apple pie and cinnamon rolls and other specific things right after the birth that I loose focus on what the Lord is blessing us with. Food is not my focus. It is a minor thing to give up my 'right' or 'freedom' to eat what I want so our little daughter is healthy. I will definitely get my apple juice and all the good bread items in time, but dont need to cause stress by demanding others to get it for me at the birth. A bowl of cereal and ordering pizza will be fine, will be easy and will not send others waiting on me hand and foot. I thank the Lord for what I have learned through this. I have learned that 4% of all pregnant women struggle with gestational diabetes....that a growing part of that 4% are South Asian Indian women...and I have learned that I can be content in the Lord and not have self pity because of what I can and can not eat....even when seeing others eat it. It is not important. Doing my best to help my daughter be healthy is important. Focusing on the Lord rather than myself.

3. I am very impatient! I want her to come right now! Saturday night I was woken up every hour and a half or so by contractions! I thought for sure she would come on Sunday....then on Monday...now at midnight Monday night/Tuesday morning as much as I would LOVE to say she will come today I need to be patient. Maybe take a 3 hour walk in the 100 degree weather and do a few jumping jacks. I can see my body preparing itself...I have already started dilating and are showing other minor signs.....please come soon Annaka:)

Sorry, no pictures this time. Maybe tomorrow.